Fragrance and Loneliness

I’ve fallen in love….

with another fragrance besides my fabric softener =)

Fallen in love with the scent of the Philippine national flower, the sampagita. I mean I’ve always enjoyed the fragrance, but this time the flower greets me every single time I walk into my room.

The fragrance is foreign, but familiar to me at the same time. Familiar because I expect it every time I come into my room. Foreign because it’s a flower I only encounter when I visit the Philippines. I really do like the familiarity it adds to my sparse room. Besides the sampagita the picture of my family and the square pillow I stole from Shayna, everything else is borrowed.

Being alone in Manila I’ve been searching for familiarity. Whether be it in fragrances, taste, pictures, people, even a familiar routine. This past week was tough with work, but even harder because it’s been difficult to find distractions after work that would take my mind off being alone in Manila. This lonely feeling gets to me especially when I’m eating dinner by myself. I know really lame huh? I’ve been so spoiled by always having family and friends around that it’s only been a week and I’m already feeling like this.

I go to Seattle’s Best almost every morning, I order the same thing, the same server asks for my name, and I wait it out for a couple of days in hopes they’d remember me. And when that day came when the server said, “Carmel, right?” –that made me smile just a tad bit inside. I know, I know, it’s a pretty first world experience, I might try a different café nearby, but the Seattle’s Best server already remembers me! And they accept credit cards there.

Since I’m at work all day instead of in a setting where I would meet people my age everyday like UP, I have yet to meet my first Filipino friend. I’ve hung out with my teachers from last year and they’ve helped out a lot, but they’ve got lives already and I don’t want to take up their time. So, I’ve been hanging out with the PSP folks and Karleen a little bit…(I know Edward, they’re Fil-Ams and you suggested that I hang out with Filipinos instead of Fil-Ams because I’m in search of my Philippines yade-yade-yada). But you wait until you get here, after I leave and Allison and Aaron, it’ll get hard…or maybe it’s just me and plus you have family in Manila and I don’t. Anyways, so it’s been really chill hanging out with the PSP folks and Karleen, it’s nice to just hang out, have fun and forget about the hard stuff for a little bit. Plus, I’ve been able to ask them about their reasons for coming to the Philippines and I’ve started a blog for them so that it can be part of our website maybe. So see, some fun and work too at the same time.

Rain

The weather has been gloomy and rainy lately. The rain comes down pretty hard, wakes me up in the morning it stops umbrella-less people dead in their tracks as they wait out the rain under shelters. I remember telling Karleen to bring an umbrella to the Philippines, but she said, “I’m a hat person, I’ve got plenty of hats for protection and I’ve never owned or needed an umbrella.” I reminded her about this today while we were getting drenched going to Mass and she replied, “ha. Don’t remind me!” Today’s rain was as if…actually I don’t know how to describe it, I’ve encountered different types of rains. Sometimes it starts as slow trickles of raindrops, then out of nowhere it just comes pouring down, then back to trickling, then pouring rain again. Sometimes it rains really hard for 5 minutes then it goes away, this kind of rain could leave you drenched if you are caught unprepared. Other times it’s gradual, starts to trickle then the rain slowly works its way up to maximum full blast rain. Rain…reminds me of Seattle, I miss Seattle.

And oh yeah, there's a typhoon, typhoon Glenda, which explains all the rain.

On Finding Myself

My shirt has this distinct smell, it’s one of my shirts I just got back from the laundry place, I’d like to think of it as a fragrance….a fragrance that is something distinctly Filipino (ha! or just the fabric softener they used).

I met up with Karleen last night before she headed out to the Cordilleras with the Philippine Studies Program 2006 batch. She seems to be really enjoying it, I told her to start a blog with PADD to talk about her first ever in the Philippines experience. I’m sooo happy she was able to join the program, because it beats the first couple of weeks of just staying at her relatives house in Makati and watching television all day. She commutes from Makati every day riding the jeepney then the MRT then another jeepney to campus. At least now that she’s out of the house, she’ll have the experiences to hopefully shape a path to finding herself…but I don’t really know if that’s what she’s here for, but you know she’s at least out doing something.

As for myself, I haven’t really quite had the chance to reflect on this question, this question of finding myself. I’ve been caught up with getting to know the ins and outs of oversight committees, the plethora of committees in Congress for that matter, being able to keep my cool when I’m being transferred from person to person on the phone. Like I said in an earlier post, I don’t think I’ll ever catch up within the 2 months I’m here. It’s like I’m this infant trying to learn how to walk while everyone around me struts as if it were second nature. Everyone has been helpful at the office even those in Congress I went to go see yesterday. One woman even took the time to give me a tour of the place and showed me around, she even treated me out to a merienda. To think back on yesterday, I had three free meals. Everyone I’ve talked to so far has been really curious about the reasons for why I’m here in the Philippines. And I don’t really know the answer myself. It’s like I go to interview them or talk to someone over the phone saying that I’m with PCIJ (I feel so awkward when I say, “Hi this is Carmel Laurino from PCIJ”, ---yeah I wish I was as cool as PCIJ I keep thinking to myself) and they notice how I have an American accent and so they end up interviewing me. It’s funny because they don’t really comprehend this idea of a Filipina American coming to the Philippines in hopes of finding herself. I just tell them it’s this thing that some of us go through and then refer them to Bonus’s book =)

I guess this would be my first thoughts and reflections on finding myself. For right now I’m really stuck on this what is my role in the Philippines question. And in order to formulate my answer for myself, I’m actually going t be interviewing Fil Ams that are here doing that program, those here from Anakbayan and LFS. I’m also going to be interviewing Filipinos from all walks of life asking them what their thoughts are on the roles of Filipino Americans. Maybe with this, someone will say something brilliant and I’ll just quote them in the future =) But, I think I’m slowly figuring it out on my own, but this blog has become way too long….to be continued na lamang.

Nannies

This picture was taken at the Highland Country Club in Tagaytay. I've seen nannies in the Philippines before, I myself had one growing up in Cebu. But, this was my first encounter of the elite's version of the nanny. I am aware that in the Philippines your social class determines a lot of things, and I know that at the different levels there exists a ya-ya for a family.

"The yaya is a fixture not just in the mansions of the wealthy, but also in middle- and lower-middle-class homes where mothers work and so rely on yaya for child care." --Sheila Coronel The Yaya Sisterhood.

At this wealthy class, distinction between master and servant was maximized by the fact that these nannies that I saw at the club had uniforms to distinguish themselves apart from the families they served. This was a first for me.

http://www.philrealty-showroom.com/prsis/sections/properties/highlands.htm


This is my baby cousin Trishia and her nanny and house helper Linda. Linda is 13 years old, her mother couldn't afford for her to attend first year high school so she now lives at my aunt and uncle's house in the province. My aunt and uncle rely on remittances that their son sends home, as well as, raising livestock and farming. Their son, my cousin is a nurse in Illinois.

PCIJ: my first day

First day of work went well, arrived at the office at 9am stayed until 7pm. I have my own desk at the office. I’ll take a picture next time and add it to this blog. My co-workers are real chill, they all exude this passion for what they do I can honestly sense it.

I’m doing a couple of things right now, which may also include starting a blog page with PCIJ. Some of my stuff may not get published so blogging, which everyone at the office does, allows for the dissemination of critical thoughts online. You guys should check some of the blogs on the PCIJ page, it’s something I’m hoping the PADD website will incorporate especially once we get articles published on the site.

I’ve been reading a lot of the PCIJ reports and publications, man they do awesome stuff. I have an immense respect for these journalists and the issues they tackle. Don’t you guys worry, I’ll bring some publications back so you guys can check them out too. Reading some of the articles has made me realize how little I know about the current political situation and I have a lot to catch up on, and I don’t think I’ll ever will. Coming here expecting to do all the things I wanted to do seems now to be an even more daunting task especially when I’m at the office for most of the day and I’m exhausted by the time I leave. Last night, I ate dinner at 7:30 and crashed in bed by 8:30pm, I don’t remember the last time I slept that early.

I’m headed to Congress today to hopefully meet with someone that can help with my current research project, cross your fingers.

National Book Store: Alabang Town Center

Roland's, Vince's, and the Fili in comic book form.

P = pesos

Just returned to Q.C. from a 6-day trip to Cebu. Saw family and did some stuff on my own…getting around was much easier knowing that I could rely on my Cebuano. But, with that fact aside, I still had no sense of direction while I was there. Cebu City is a much smaller place than Manila, but I wasn’t familiar with the jeepney routes or where Banilad is in relation to the Ayala Mall. So, I ended up taking a taxi everywhere when my cousin had to work last Wednesday.

I had to go to Banilad from Capitol to meet with Attorney Liza Osario from CCEF (Coastal Conservation and Education Foundation), then to San Carlos University-Main Campus to visit the Cebuano Studies Center and to hopefully run into Dr. Resil Mojares (which didn’t quite happen), and then off to the San Carlos Seminary to have lunch with my Uncle. This whole day of riding taxis I spent over 250P, which is roughly equivalent to 5 bucks, which isn’t a lot if you consider how much a taxi in the States would cost. While on the other hand, riding the public transportations (jeepnies) costs only 6P per trip, this would have saved me a lot of money if I would’ve been familiar with the routes.

It’s not that I’m a stingy person, but as just someone used to using the Metro-bus system in Seattle, it’s quite hard to adjust to always doing the conversions in my head and justifying the cab ride, because it’s cheap in comparison to the cabs back home. But, can I really compare the two situations? Should I mimic my student budget and lifestyle from back in Seattle?

Went to Pizza Hut at Ayala in Cebu with my cousin Teresa who’s 22. She asked me before dinner what I’d wanted to eat since I hadn’t been back in 9 months, but I wanted to take her somewhere, where she probably hasn’t gone to for over 9 months since I’d been away. So that’s how we ended up at Pizza Hut, the bill totaled to about 560P, pretty cheap for two people if again you convert.

Teresa is a nurse, earning the minimum wage in the city 223P/day. Pizza Hut = 2 days at work. Her older sister, Leah earns even less, she works outside of the city and so earns the minimum wage of 200P/day. She works at the massage & spa on Badian Island Resort, where a massage package runs at the lowest for 2,800P. This doesn’t even include the boat ride or the day trip if you want to go to Badian Island for just the day, which costs I believe $25. It’s an interesting situation, who can afford the pizza and the massage?

Pictures

Alegria, Cebu

plane ride to manila
On they way to Tagaytay

Mall of Asia

I'm finally here, i still cannot believe it. It didn't quite hit me until right before take-off, i had a knot in my stomach and wondering why i was returning to the Philippines this summer. Seriously, i had some doubts about my trip...and i couldn't change the plans because i was already strapped in and couldn't turn back.

I feel like this summer needs to be different, i need to bring something back...something significant, but what?

I didn't eat much on the plane, i hate airplane food. But, i did have some white wine...i needed it cuz' i sat next to this really creepy man.

And now i'm in the mall of asia with Myra, it is huge and right next to the ocean too. We're going to watch Superman atthe Imax theatre now, i may fall asleep. sige...until next post.

itinerary

I went on a run at Seward Park yesterday with Yicheng and my sister...beautiful weather.

I'm leaving in 9 days! I'm excited and anxious to leave already and I'll be there for 2 months and 1 week. It seems like a long time, but with all the things I want to do, I don't think it's enough time.

July 07: arrive in Ninoy Aquino Int'l Airport at 9:55 am
July 08: check out the room I'll be renting for 2 months in Quezon City (Q.C. from now on)

July 09: move in to my place
July 10: check in at PCIJ, go to UP Diliman
July 11: fly to Cebu
July 11-15: beach, family, check out the Cebuano Studies Center at San Carlos University, save some coral reefs at the Coastal Conservation and Education Foundation, have a mango shake, and catch a fish.

July 16: fly back to Maynila
July 17: begin my internship with PCIJ
July 27: Black Eyed Peas concert
August 4: Joseph (my oldest bro) arrives in Maynila, we both leave for Cebu for the weekend.
Sept. 4: my 22nd birthday
Sept. 13: return to Seattle

In between these dates I plan to write some articles for PCIJ, do some research for my Fulbright proposal, get letters of affiliations for my Fulbright application, interview Filipino activists, hang out with PADD folks, travel, read some books, buy some books, and update my blog. Can I honestly do all of this?

plane ticket

wow, i can't believe i spent $1,145 for my plane ticket to manila! i better make the most out of this trip and i'm confident i will. seattle-tapei-manila with china airlines. will be leaving on july 6th and won't be back in seattle until the 13th of september. 2 months and 1 week... in the philippines...CRAZY. my third summer in a row, i'm on a role.